The Time I Almost Perished While Climbing A Big Rock.

This story takes place in Hau Hin 14 months ago before I  moved to Thailand, but I want to include it for two reasons, firstly because I want you to know I like to live dangerously and secondly, I can’t think of anything else to write today. If you are faint of heart please stop reading now…

I’m not a hero, I’m nothing special despite what you may have heard or read. Ok, so I did save an entire group of school children from an out-of-control wheelbarrow once and if a pizza arrives with olives on I will still eat it despite hating them to my very core…ok, I am a hero…

There has also been times when I’ve felt I was going to perish and leave this mortal coil. There was the time I was backpacking in Canada and had the wonderful experience of what sounded like three bears (at least two) sniffing around my tent one night (would a blog about that be ok on here in the future even though it doesn’t involve Thailand?). There was also the many times I stayed at my Nan’s house with the central heating turned up to its maximum temperature, whilst having to watch Emmerdale…but I survived.

There has been many near death experiences but the most recent one involved a ‘huge mountain’ in a place called Hua Hin which is along the east coast of Thailand.

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Khao Ka Lok Beach

The day had started like any other day, the sun was shining, I’d had a good sweat without doing anything active and I was still an adventurous hero. I was staying in a place I can’t remember the name of but I don’t see why I should feel bad about that, I just find it hard to remember names…they’re not that important anyway and as my dad always says, ‘as long as you remember to wipe your arse in the morning, you’ll be alright’. He isn’t a particularly wise man but I think he is on to something with that saying.

So, on this fateful day, a day that will be written about in history books when I am famous (famous for what I don’t know yet) I took myself off to Khao Ka Lok beach to try to do some hardcore relaxing. The sun was out so naturally I had my guns out and I forced myself to do some intense, no-holds barred relaxing!

The beach was almost deserted as you can see from the photograph above and the only people who we’re there seemed to be locals. The setting was perfect, a near empty beach, the sound of the waves gently lapping up and down the beach, the sun on my face and a slight breeze…so obviously I became restless.

Relaxing takes practice – it sounds odd to say that but it really does and looking back I don’t think it really relaxed for about 17 years. Ok, I did sit around and do nothing for big, heroic periods of time but I wasn’t ‘relaxing’, if you don’t know the difference you probably need to relax more. I’ve now trained myself to relax properly but on this fateful day that will probably be made into a movie, I was ‘fidgety’.

To my right side I saw the jagged coast line stretch off into the distance but I also saw something that caught my attention…a sign in the shape of an arrow pointing to something just out of my sight. My interest had been piqued.

I wandered over to the sign and saw that it was pointing to some wooden steps leading high up the side of a huge mountain (ok, it was a hill…but a high hill!) This was enough encouragement for a brave hero such as myself and I was quickly on my way up the wooden staircase of doom. I don’t have a photo of the sign but there will be some in this blog soon…just hang on in there with all these words!

The wooden steps soon gave way to the natural rock which despite heading upwards, (like all hills do unless you’re going in the opposite direction…that’s kind of how hills work) the climb was pretty straight forward. I reached the top in probably record time (I don’t know if there is a record for reaching the daunting peak but I feel I probably smashed it if there is one) and was greeted by the most wonderful view…

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Khao Ka Lok, Hau Hin

How’d ya like that? Not too shabby a view is it? Here’s the view from behind me.

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Shiiiiiiit! It’s so pretty here!

My legs were a bit wobbly from the climb and I was a bit dehydrated but I felt a moment of awe, surrounded by all of this natural beauty. After enjoying this wonderful view for roughly six and a half minutes I decided to make my way down again.

On the way up I had come across little arrows painted onto the rocks at intermittent points which helped me find the safest route up and while looking around the summit I saw an arrow pointing towards the other side of the mountain (hill). This, I thought, was the way down so I decided to follow it…this was where things started to go wrong.

I can’t quite remember the exact moment when I began to get a sinking feeling but when an arrow pointed directly off the side of the mountain (hill) and onto the ground some 4 or 500 feet below, I began to get a sense that this wasn’t going to be a gentle stroll down to the bottom. As the sweat began to seep out from under my hat and onto my back I realised I would have to find my own way down. I headed to my left a while, looking for more arrows, then I turned back in the opposite direction in a vain attempt to find a clue as to which way was the correct way down…the route to the left led to a dead-end and to the right, the sheer drop…you can see my problem.

After circling back and forth a few times a teeny, tiny sense of ever so mild panic flashed across my head…is this how it ends? Will the movie of my life have an unhappy ending or will the handsome hero win the day?

I quickly assessed the situation…I was on a mountain (really high hill!), in a foreign country, lost, with no phone signal, no water, sweat pouring out onto my now cold skin and incredibly inadequate clothing for a sleep over! There was nothing else to do but sit down and cry…or was there? Yes,there was…I could go back the way I came (see, clever as well as heroic).

As I reached the summit again I didn’t spare a single glance at the view over the beach but seeing the sea again was a welcome sight…at least I was heading in a direction I knew. But then another thought struck my head…the beach and the jagged rocks I’d climbed over at the start of this heroic adventure were very close to the sea…the question that popped into my head was, ‘what time does the tide come in?’ The thought of getting to the bottom only to find that I was stranded filled my head, my heart began to beat a little bit faster…I was getting the sense of mild panic…I was still being heroic, but in a slightly panicky way…

I was dehydrated now and my legs almost buckled under me on more than one occasion, I’d been on this bloody mountain (REALLY HIGH HILL!!) for about an hour and a half which is almost 90 minutes!

I stayed strong though, gritted my teeth and soldiered on, bravely ignoring my sore calf muscles and the huge 2 centimetre gash I’d suffered on a jagged piece of rock. I couldn’t see any blood coming out of my severe flesh wound but I could tell it wanted to gush out onto the rock…the rock that was trying to claim another victim.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I made it to the bottom, the tide hadn’t moved an inch, I drank some water and everything was fine again…but I will never forget how the monstrous mountain almost took the life of a real hero. I’m just happy I am here to tell my story and for it to be turned into a movie…

11 Comments Add yours

  1. #1. It really is pretty there.
    #2. It took you 90 minutes to walk up and down some stairs? No wonder you’re always sweating!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was 90 minutes for the whole escapade – I probably spent about 30 minutes trying to find a way down the other side! And it was only stairs at the start, after that I was technically rock climbing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, well in that case…
        No.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. DoMoreBeMore says:

    Loved this! Smiled the whole way through after a really shit day – so thank you!!
    Isn’t relaxing hard? There’s lazy, procrastinating, sticking your head in the sand, bored and fidgety – can you tell I also suck at relaxing? But I’m working on it lol.
    Your story reminds me of the time I got lost on Kangaroo Island in the middle of the night. All those “what if’s” start running through your head, common sense goes out the window and it’s only through the sheer will to live that your brain finally kicks in!! Trouble is, what should have been a great adventure, becomes a very non-relaxing experience!
    I remember a year or two ago my daughter wanted to go to Bali around the time the volcanos were erupting. She asked me what she should do. In my maternal wisdom I told her to go with the expectation of having a volcanic adventure that might mean she gets to extend her holiday for a day or two … advice I really need to follow myself!!
    So, note to myself and yourself – every time you step outside your front door, expect an “adventure” and roll with it 😉 Otherwise you won’t get to relax!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well I’m glad I made you smile but sorry you had a shit day.
      The key is to learn to relax…but don’t get too good at it. I’m in danger of doing just that!
      Hope you’ve had a better day today.

      Like

  3. Amazing you survived that. You could write a book about it and I’ll bet it would be made into a movie. Not as renowned as my wart movie (Warts Love Got To Do With It? You may remember the name. You came up with it.) mind you, but a movie that would receive critical acclaim. With your flowing hair, you should definitely star in the movie. They’ll have to drag in some big Hollywood wind machines to really get that flowing look since you won’t be in the canals but rather sweating on the dangerous mountain (hill), but I’m sure that won’t be a problem.

    On another note, which kind of olives do you hate on your pizza: green or black? How you answer this will determine if I continue following you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Crumbs…the olive question has left me shaking with fear that you’re going to hit the unfollow button but I have to be blunt and say that green and black olives can do one! Awful things! (Sorry)

      Also, you obviously have a good eye for what makes a great movie and I’m glad that my flowing locks have left such an impression on you. I guess if they didn’t cast me the only other option would be Brad Pitt, who I think is a fairly good representation of me. I see Tarantino as director too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Who am I kidding? I could never unfollow someone with such liberal sweat glands, especially after you stuck with me through the wart post. Incidentally, the correct answer was “black olives,” but you get a pass either way.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve literally been holding my breath since I posted my reply so I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you are still following me and that I can breath again 🙂 And yes…I deserve some kind of medal for not only sitting through the ‘wart era’ but also coming up with the greatest title ever for a wart movie

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Jeff Bell says:

    The best beaches are those with mountains (hills) nearby. That way my wife can relax, I can hike, and when I’m sweaty and tired I can finally relax and drink a beer with her. Thank you for being a hero, and I’m happy that you survived.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for thanking me for being a hero – some things just come naturally to some people I guess 😉. And I certainly enjoyed my beer the night after my near death experience!

      Like

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