My Really Awful Pair Of Shorts (And A Famous Historical Landmark)

This story happened to me in early 2018 and it is only now after extensive therapy and electric shock treatment that I am able to share it publicly.

My visit to a famous tourist sight started much like any other trip I make to a historical attraction in Bangkok in that I was feeling slightly confused and sweating a lot – nothing new so far and to be honest and I’d rather it was that way around and not the other – slightly sweating and confused a lot.

As someone who was born into a relatively cold country, wearing shorts had always felt odd to me, the idea confused me. Before moving to Thailand I was one of those British people who owned one pair of shorts and only begrudgingly pulled them from the wardrobe if I HAD to go to the beach. Because of this, choosing shorts is not a life skill that I was good at and yet before travelling to Thailand I had gone shopping for shorts…unattended!

My feeling was that I didn’t want my legs to be on show but I wanted shorts so in the end I compromised (with myself…is that a thing?) and bought 3/4 length shorts, the style of shorts where the leg stops halfway down your shin. I felt really good about myself, I’d bought shorts (unattended) and now I would be cooler in a temperature sense but also, and more imprortantly, in a style sense – I was winning in life however you looked at it.

I would strut around Bangkok with my brand new 3/4 length shorts in the belief that I had made an excellent choice – I was so sure in this belief that I actually bought TWO pairs of the same shorts (this is something I tend to do a lot, if I think I look good in something, I’ll buy two…I’m not sure why…maybe that’s a blog all on its own?).

Then one day I went to a tourist attraction and I followed the rules of such activities and had my photograph taken as proof that I had been there…the following photograph is what I saw when my phone was handed back to me…please be warned that what you are about to see is not intended to upset anyone and/or to incite feelings of uncontrollable lust.

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A man in awful ‘shorts’ at a tourist attraction in Bangkok

Now, I’ve never been comfortable with having my photo taken, I’m usually the one pulling a funny face to distract attention away from my awkwardness but in this photo I look like I have never had my photo taken before…but lets just concentrate on the shorts (not my posture, smile or indeed choice of socks). I look like I’ve had the same pair of trousers since I was 14 years old and gone through a growth spurt at the age of 42. Here’s another photo of me taken the same day…

 

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It’s that man again with the weirdly long legs

I look at these photos and think maybe people that saw me got confused as to whether my legs were long or my trousers too short – I WENT OUTSIDE LOOKING LIKE THIS!

Having had my phone given back to me and my eyes and brain trying to process what they were seeing, I began to feel a bit self-conscious of…my ‘look’. Technically what you are seeing in these photos is a ‘look’ – you may not be able to describe it to anyone that hasn’t seen these photos but it’s a ‘look’.

Lets take a closer look…at my look

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A sophisticated, debonair and cool British gentleman abroad…

Armed with these photos and a healthy sense of embarrassment I went and bought some new shorts and the ones in this photo have gone to a better place which is ‘not in my wardrobe’. I now have shorts that if you see me from afar it looks like I’m naked from the waist down…

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I think we can all agree that this is an improvement…

Oh, the tourist attraction where these pictures were taken was at John Thompsons House which in all seriousness is a really nice way to spend a couple of hours. John Thompson lived in Thailand after serving in the American army during world war 2. In 1948 Jim set up the Thai Silk Company and began exporting Thai silk to the rest of the world. Jim soon fell in love with the Thai culture, its art and its traditional craftmanship and began building his own house in 1958 in the traditional Thai style, including most of the living quarters being raised off the ground due to the regular floods that many areas of Thailand used to suffer. The house is made entirely from the wood with much of it and the furnishings made from teak.

Sadly and yet understandably you are not allowed to take photos of the inside of the house which is a shame as it houses some pieces of fine art and the furniture is beautifully made.

I would really recommend paying Jim Thompsons House a visit but I certainly wouldn’t recommend 3/4 length shorts.

Thank you for reading my blog, if you liked it please give me a little ‘like’ as it would make this whole horrific episode easier to take 🙂

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